wow. who's to say they wouldn't be attacked in some way even if they weren't virgins?

isn't the rising teen pregnancy issue a problem? there are so many arguments for being careful.

even if we forced every child to have sex at age ten, perverts would still traffic kids. it's their fault, not any virgin's.

They are not saying virginity is an issue. In that article she says, "On the surface, a cultural focus on purity may seem a non-issue; if the Jonas Bothers don't want to have sex before marriage, who cares except a handful of precocious and disappointed teen girls?"

The issue is the obsession various societies have with virginity.

When I was four, in the late 1960s, a friend of my teenage uncle told my mom to put me on the pill as soon as I turned 16. Naturally, I grew up to be a total prude. What else could I do under that kind of pressure?

Different people are ready to have sex whenever they're ready. There's no one age. Tell kids that sex comes from inside and let them decide for themselves what they're ready for and when.

Of course, selling virgins to idiots as a cure for AIDS, then stitching them up and reselling them as virgins again, as many times as you can get away with it, has nothing to do with the sexuality of the person being sold. It's more like killing rhinos and selling their horns (symbols of lunar purity) on the black market. I think it makes as much sense as the religious belief that a newborn child can save the world when all the adults currently running it have no clue. Symbolic of something, maybe (a fresh start?), but not something to ever be taken literally.

we may be physically evolved to have sex at this age, but I would strongly argue that 100% of the 'children' of this age that I know are completely, emotionally, unable to cope. Not only with the emotions they feel about themselves and their partner(s), but with the consequences of such actions - STD's, pregnancy, self-image
Responsible adults want to protect their children, in fact all children........
john stack
johnstack@svetna.com
http://www.svetna.com

Well said Evie. Honor and respect seem to be almost obsolete these days, in sexuality and many other aspects of life. I wont even address Brian's comment. You did a good job of rebuttal.

Brittney may not have explicitly said that she was promoting those things but she was implicitly representing these things. She is in a school girl uniform that is understood in our society to stand for a private school usually affiliated with predominately christian religions so the good girl (virgin) yet is using sexual language, posing sexually and also her shirt is tied up in away to be more revealing. So implicitly she is representing and reinforcing this double bind on girls. Another good example would be Jessica Simpson who claimed virginity until marriage and yet during that same time was posing half naked and portraying herself as very sexual. You should be sexually pure however you should be sexy, alluring and sexual. This double bind is troubling and causes problems in our society which are not unfelt in the sex industry. It's all connected. Meaning that the way people think is affected by these videos and therefore the way they act and what they buy into. So this is what people look for a "good girl" who is sexual but not a slut. A girl can't be both. So why not buy one.

Evie,
I'm with you
dignity, honor and respect begin with oneself and by our own actions can we demonstrate and motivate others (especially younger people) by leading from the front.
Perhaps we should be a little suspicious of Mr. Woods feelings about himself?
john Stack
johnstack@svetna.com
http://www.svetna.com

I think a nice happy medium when it comes to teenage sexuality would be non-penetrative sex. But I don't know how interested in that they'd be...

Actually Margaret, there is plenty of "armchair quarterbacking" when it comes to men's sexuality. It just falls in the opposite direction. If a guy doesn't have multiple partners by the time he finishes college, there must be something wrong with him. If he doesn't sleep with a woman he's been seeing for more than a month, again there is something wrong. Sexuality should be handled with maturity and respect. This is what people seem to have a problem with.

I agree, Dennis.  I grew up in an unusual way, and as a teen I typically dated someone years older than me, often pushing the line of what is acceptable.  I had one boyfriend that I dated for a few years--with my parents' knowledge and acceptance--who was seven years older than me.  When my parents found that out, they asked me "Why not?!" like something was wrong with the guy for not demanding sex in exchange for dinners/movies/etc.  Our mutual friends still act shocked when they find out that we were not sleeping together despite the outrageous age difference.  The reaction is usually very negative towards my ex, even though in my opinion it shows more about his character.  Ironic, isn't it?

Dennis, what a farce. Although it does happen to men in their peer groups, most women appreciate a man with those qualities. Plus I also think this is part of the example of the inequality and victimization of women!!!!!! Men are supposed to treat them like meat and are peer pressured to do so and you think somehow that is the same thing as having your detailed sexual business exploited and talked about by anyone and everyone at any moment??? Or the same thing as being harassed on the street whether for virgin or promiscuous looks? All your demonstrating is that people that don't fall into average dis-functions get teased. You're demonstrating that if your part of the solution you are not part of the problem. The same teasing goes on if your an environmentalist or an artist. I am commending you, also i am saying that you are not giving attention to the inequality, especially since indeed we and YOU are currently in the middle of weighing in on a woman's sexuality. Exactly my point, because you are not mentioning men's sexuality as a topic for discussion, merely calling it out to say that women are not being victimized anymore than the sweet men in this world. That may be true, lets start a "nice men finish last" support group.

Mica, so people are shocked, we are all shocked when people break the mold. I am shocked if i see someone in a hydrogen powered car. Every now and then i get shocked when my own spouse remembers anniversary dates. It is not that same thing as being intrusive on a woman's privacy of sexuality. It is not the same thing as being obsessed with a young woman's virginity or for that matter, her right to do what she deems necessary in pregnancy!!! Pleasant shocks that people are impressed with and are out of typical alpha male behavior are not the same thing!!!

What would be the same thing for this victimization of tender males is if a woman had only one or two partners by age thirty or still a virgin. We would all find that slightly out of the norm and may be odd enough to inquire about, or even tease.

What is actually the same thing as this topic is if older women regularly gawked, stalked, hooted, hollered and solicited sex from males who appeared to be virgins. Or if we were obsessed with finding a sweet sensitive and considerate man, and then abusing, seducing and manipulating them. (and it does happen, still is not considered the average behavior for females)

And looking at the comment below by David Lee Daniel Jr., yes it is confusing. Here again, the difference is that it is a sickness that older men want a young girl who has been untouched or hardly touched so they can take what she has; it is rarely about giving her something special. With young men, there are still enough sickos that want your first experience to be there experience. However, once a male is not a virgin or no longer "pure" it doesn't hold the same shame or sin, it is like it is ok and acceptable, even expected; where as women are questioned and everyone wants to know how, why, what, who and it is -*not celebrated*- **unless** the answers to those questions fit in with a specific picture we perceive of how we "weigh in" on what her experience was!!!! Often a woman is made to feel shame whereas her male counterpart was acting accordingly. 

Margaret, I just reread Dennis' post to be sure that I remembered it correctly.  Your remarks to Dennis are based upon a misrepresentation of Dennis' comment.  Dennis does not say "Well, don't forget about the men, because we are in such a terrible situation just as bad (if not worse) than women."  You posted the part about "it's only women's sexuality that we feel so comfortable armchair quarterbacking."  Dennis and I responded that a generalization like that is not fair, it isn't like men are completely given the right to act however they want (sexually) with no commentary upon them.  While most definitely womens' rights are brutally violated across the globe and women are placed in a much more negative trap when it comes to their purity/sexuality, we wanted to point out that as with most general claims using the word "all" that there are also situations where men are given unfair societal expectations regarding their sexuality and purity (or lack thereof.)  We wanted to ensure that you do not make the mistake of overly generalizing a situation.

Further, my comments were not to show our friends' pleased shock, rather to show how negative they treated my ex.  Like what was wrong with him...does he have any masculinity...etc.  Not people responding as he is such an upstanding gentleman but what is wrong with that man's head?  You furiously assert "it is not the same thing" (Pardon me, I can't seem to find where in my comments I EVER dared to claim that men are in an equally extreme situation.  I state that there is a negative treatment/view/expectations placed upon men as well, but this is a minority.  What country has a booming male trafficking industry for sex?  I never intended to imply that men are in the exact same or worse situation, rather that your gereralized comments attempt to make this debate very black and white--men have it easy, women have it horrific--while in fact there are shade of grey.

I agree that our society's perception of women, especially "pure" women needs to be altered.  The article that is linked to regarding Nepali girls being sold/tricked...I volunteer with refugees, and many  of the people I volunteer with are Nepali.  I agree that the whole "purity" thing isn't fair.  The negative views of women as a sex object forces many men into uncomfortable situations.  I am speaking specifically about American society.  The objectification of women is such an ingrained part of our society that all men are supposed to objectify women--they are expected to be on a constant hunt to bed as many women as possible.

You can boil my remarks down to one idea:
The views of women as sexual objects further extends upon men--men who don't search teen porn of women in pig tails with school girl skirts are broken/odd.  Men who don't try to objectify women at every turn are abnormal.  The overall issue affects both women AND men.

Margaret, first of all, I agree that any man who covets a young girl because of her virginity is sick. I find this appauling to say the least.
Second, you did misrepresent what I said above. All I was trying to point out was that we, as a society, should treat sexuality with more respect. While I do not downplay the problems women face, let's not disregard the fact that there are plenty of social stigmas applied to men's sexuality also. These stigmas are placed by society as a whole.
I could continue, but Mica did an excellent job above. Thanks for fully comprehending my comment and not putting words in my mouth.

Mica, I'm sorry you feel that way.  Please let me the the first woman in line to say that I respect men who don't objectify women, and I hope we can normalize that respect.

Ok, well your right, there are stigmas on males as well. I know that. I would have perceived your statement differently if it had not been a direct reply to my comment and if you had made it in its own right. You did reply to mine which sort of downplayed what i was thinking as i was reading the blog, which was simply that society thinks about a woman's vigina too much! As for men that don't objectify women, they are the only ones i will give the time of day to. It seems as though we are on the verge of turning this into a discussion about human sexuality. Respect for women is normal just as ojectiifying is these days. And women have come a long way in this country. It all boils down to women's equality and when women are equal, men will not be expected to be users, at least not anymore or less then women are.

Yes, the body is developed (usually) at that point. The only problem is the mental strength and maturity generally is not.

Don't get me wrong. I think teens should honor and celebrate their sexuality in healthy ways--if the are mature enough.

I'm confused.  What does your comment have to do with sexuality being a selling point for enslaved/abused girls?