101 Things to Be for Halloween Other Than a Pimp

categories: Human Trafficking Awareness, Sex Trafficking and Prostitution, Technology and the Media

Published October 27, 2009 @ 01:00PM PT

Here's how my Halloween usually goes: go out with friends, run into a guy dressed as a pimp, proceed to corner the pimp and explain why his costume is inappropriate and offensive. Yep -- I'm pretty much a buzz-kill. I would love to have a conflict-free Halloween this year (and one where my friends don't ditch me), but that's only going to happen if no one dresses up in costumes that glamorize pimping. Pimps are people who exploit women. Period. Yet Halloween glamorizes pimps like no other holiday. Maybe it's because their stereotypical attire makes an outlandish costume. Maybe it's because they are an easily recognizable part of American culture. There have been pimp costumes available on the Internet for a long time, but now even your dog can be a pimp. And as Kat over at Polaris Project points out, so can your pumpkin.

I know coming up with a Halloween costume is hard, so to help you out, I've provided 101 ideas for cosutmes that don't glorify criminals who rape women and sell them like objects. If you're thinking of dressing like a pimp, pick one of these instead, especially if you live in the DC area. Because you don't want to meet me and my feminist literature in a dark alley on Halloween night.

101 Things to Be for Halloween that Aren't a Pimp

NASCAR driver

Wizard with a pegleg

Amelia Earheart

Dinosaur

Cat in a litterbox

Zombie lumberjack

Your mom

Flapper

Harlem Globetrotter

Wall-E

Chuck Norris

Drunk robot

Pancake

Simpson's character

Golfer

Sarah Palin

King of Spades

Slutty panda

Keg of beer

Wind up penguin toy

Hipster

Michael Jackson

Bunch of grapes

Wizard with an expensive prosthetic leg

Party animal

George W. Bush

Ghost eating a muffin

Little Orphan Annie

Sexy or not-so-sexy librarian

Voltran

Waldo

Peanut M&Ms

Mummy

Tooth fairy

Cop with a mohawk

Ultimate frisbee player

Bernie Madoff

Harry Potter

An underpaid babysitter

Sexy Abraham Lincoln

Starfish

Grasshopper with anxiety disorder

Someone else's mom

Peter Pan

Bee keeper

Cookie Monster

Drunk jerk at the bar

Marathon runner

Naked skydiver

Feminist Rapunzel who made him take the stairs

iPod commercial

The bartender's mom

A vampire from Twilight or True Blood

A stick

Santa Claus

Frodo Baggins

Dishwasher

Shifty-eyed chipmunk

Scarlet fever

Marie Antoinette

Rabbit

Bag of jelly beans

Nina, Pinta, and/or Santa Maria

The Big Bad Wolf in grandma's mu-mu

Detective

Break dancer

Uncertain pie

A maid of any nationality other than French

The guy from "The Wrestler"

A Trans-Am

Pony

Sack of bricks

The cute kid from Where the Wild Things Are

Christian Amanpour

Ants at a picnic

Michael Moore

Charles in Charge

Hobo who reads Chaucer

Carnie (Wilson or the profession)

Magic bean

Cheerleader

Elvis

Robot Chicken

Abominable Snowman

Half angel, half devil

Dreidel

Batman

A rouge fisherman with poor night vision

Pedicurist

Banana

Vietnam protester

Shooting star

Man on horseback

Spock

Don and Betty Draper

Walnut grove

Adam Lambert

Unicorn on steroids

3 dollar bill

Witch with buckteeth

The Gosselin Family

Now, you have no excuse to be a pimp this Halloween. So have fun this weekend, be safe, and if you see someone dressed as a pimp, tell him to read this blog next year.

Photo credit: bovinemagnet

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Comments (20)

A friend of a friend dressed up years ago as a pimp. His grandmother sewed him a ridiculous oversized coat made out of fluffly white fake fur. The coat itself was a lot of fun. It's too bad it said "pimp". Perhaps some stylists out there could provide alternative uses for such outrageous garments. Cossack on drugs?

Posted by Anemone Cerridwen on 10/27/2009 @ 03:33PM PT
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Good night, HAPPY HALLOWEN!

Posted by DenzelWen DenzelWen on 11/02/2009 @ 07:18PM PT
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Intresting and humorous list although Im somewhat offended with the suggestion of "Witch with buckteeth"...

Anyways it sounds like youd be fun to hang with on halloween and I would question whether or not your friends are really your friends if they would ditch you so readily...

Blessed sah-wen miss kloer.

Posted by Thomas McHugh on 10/27/2009 @ 05:17PM PT
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Yeah, pimps are bad but c'mon... It's Halloween for crying out loud. Most things you dress as are totally inappropriate for the every day world. LOL I mean jeeeez. What else is there to say.

Posted by Graham Smith on 10/27/2009 @ 06:44PM PT
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Well mr. smith...

Unlike "most things", pimps are an all too real monster that we shouldnt be idolising or advertising as anything other than reprehensable.

I'd say that miss kloer is right on target.

Posted by Thomas McHugh on 10/31/2009 @ 01:27PM PT
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George W. Bush and Chuck Norris are better than pimps?

Posted by Rev Bookburn on 10/27/2009 @ 07:52PM PT
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I too would question that and in my opinion...

They aint.

Posted by Thomas McHugh on 10/31/2009 @ 01:28PM PT
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Good one!

Posted by Vinny Ambrosino on 11/02/2009 @ 01:17PM PT
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I have no problem with pimp costumes... Human trafficking and woman/men being forced to have sex beyond their control is terrible.. but it's a costume.. honestly it doesn't and never will bother me.. Are all pimps holding people against their will?

Posted by Alex Montagna on 10/28/2009 @ 08:03AM PT
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Yes mr. montagna...

Pimps do indeed hold their prostitutes against their will and they do it through a variety of methods.

Posted by Thomas McHugh on 10/31/2009 @ 01:29PM PT
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Great article. I especially liked the suggested costumes. I'm not sure how one would pull off a rouge fisherman with poor night vision however.

Posted by Kristin Brown on 10/28/2009 @ 11:42AM PT
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i want ot send your news to my mail . thank you

Posted by ali simorgh on 10/28/2009 @ 12:31PM PT
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How do you make a "sexy Abraham Lincoln" costume? O_o You know what, on second thought, I don't want to know.

Posted by Natalie Rose Apar on 10/29/2009 @ 08:39AM PT
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Halloween costumes are supposed to be funny, not mean. There is nothing funny about prostitution and a pimp who bullies and/or cons a woman into submitting to sexual abuse so that he can make money off her maltreatment is nothing but mean. The only way that anyone can trivialize pimping is by refusing to look at the cruel reality of prostitution and by deriving comfort from the idea that "at least I'm not a whore" the same way poor whites said "At least I ain't a n---er."

I'd also question why any woman or girl would go along with the stupid idea that there is anything intrinsically funny about being a mother, not even if she is stereotyped as a "mom." Doesn't it strike you as at all suspicious that there are no suggestions here about how funny it would be to dress up as a "dad" - even as a "bartender's dad"?

Posted by Catherine Butler on 10/29/2009 @ 10:59AM PT
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Catherine, I don't think Amanda meant any Mom, but one's own Mom, which could be funny. I know that if my daughter dressed up as me (or as I her for that matter) many of our friends would think it was hilarious and kind of sweet). I'm a teacher and once a little first grader dressed up as me and I was touched. He was quite cute!

Posted by Heather Windsor on 11/01/2009 @ 02:11PM PT
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just heard a line on a popular weekly tv series, i'm paraphrasing, halloween parties are good for women dressing real slutty, and drinking too much!

Posted by jan Voght on 10/30/2009 @ 10:54AM PT
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Awwwwww I thought it was so that us ugly old men could go out in public without anyone running away in stark terror ?

Posted by Thomas McHugh on 11/01/2009 @ 06:55PM PT
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Great post Amanda and way to get some humor worked in to such a serious topic. I loved it and you have inspired me to combine several costumes on your list, so I am going to go as Drunk Zombie Sarah Palin with a Pegleg. Check my Facebook for photos!

Posted by Slim Chance on 10/31/2009 @ 08:03AM PT
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Nope- none of those suggestions tops pimp. Harlem Globetrotter ain't bad.

But it's Halloween for got sake. I suppose a slasher teaches great life lessons. Or Freddy Kruger. And maids are *so* degrading...

Jesus, lighten up. It's Halloween...

Posted by Alex Ross on 10/31/2009 @ 08:54AM PT
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Well...I admit that miss kloer should have thought out her list a little better but still, pimps are just as bad as what you used as your examples...With the exception of harlem globetrotter.

Posted by Thomas McHugh on 10/31/2009 @ 01:33PM PT
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Author

Amanda has been a full-time abolitionist for six years. During that time, she has created reports, documentaries and training materials on human trafficking in the United States and around the world.